It's Good to Dream

So I know on my last post I said my dream was to become a Police Officer, and while that is still one of my dreams I have been thinking a lot about one of my other dreams a lot. That is to become a Lawyer! My family has always told me that I could argue with a sign post lol and it's true! I have always had a special love for debate and heated conversation!! I love Politics and being tuned into the world around me and current events! So that being said I am seriously considering the possibility of becoming a lawyer! I already plan on getting my bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice and then it would be just three more years of school after that at a Law School, and then I could be a Lawyer by the time I am 30 years old.

I know I would have a MOUNTAIN of student loans if this is what I decide to do, but I honestly feel like it would be such an amazing accomplishment for me! I finally feel like I have figured out once and for all what I am supposed to do with my life (other then be a Mommy of course) by the time I get my bachelor's degree Kila will be starting elementary school, and I feel like if I was to start law school it would be no different then having a full time every day extremely demanding job! So wish me luck on achieving my dreams and pray for me! hahaha Oh and if you are thinking right now that I can't do it you are either not a very good friend and dont believe in me or you really just dont know me :)

1 down and many to go....

So today marks 1 week that I have been trying really hard to get into shape and eat healthy...its been really hard so far but totally worth it! I feel so much better about myself...even though I am a long way away from my goal!

My dream is to become a police officer when Kila starts school (I know I have a while but that's all the more reason to start working towards it now!) Becoming a Cop has been something I have wanted to do since I was like in 7th grade...and I think if I really want it I can do it

So I started working out and eating healthy and I have a determined mind set for it....I just don't want to lose that mind set after just a week so I'm doing everything to keep myself interested and focused...

I started a "journal" I guess is what you can call it and I record everything I have eaten and the calories...I write down any exercise I did and how many glasses of water I have drank...I cut out all soda, alcohol, and sugary drinks from my diet and I feel really good to be able to say I don't drink anything but water!

I'm also doing a kickboxing class 2 nights a week (I love it) and I might be starting a TRX class too..I haven't decided on that though and I swim 2-3 nights out of the week and do a workout routine from Jillian Micheal's Monday-Friday

I record my weight every Sunday morning and then the rest of Sunday is my break day...I don't have to record anything or work out at all on Sundays...like a "treat day" and that really gives me something to look forward to!

I am already seeing a difference in the way I feel and my energy levels and I am so excited to keep working towards my goal...I suppose the reason I am writing this blog is to have something to remind myself of how great being healthy makes me feel....(plus I wouldn't mind a little encouragement either lol jk)

So wish me luck and pray for me to stay focused and reach my goal lol :)

Life (Please Read and Think About it!)

I know there is a lot of buzz of the "end of the world" in 2012.....I cant say whether I believe it or not because being a Christian and believing in every word of the Holy Bible I know that someday this world as we know it will come to an end...maybe tomorrow maybe in another 1,000 years...no one knows for sure and no one will! But I do believe (and I think the bible even says but don't take my word for it) that it will be when we least expect it They have been trying to tell us we are living in the end times for...gosh I don't even know how long!

Anyways I just wanted to write this blog to tell everyone especially the non believers that Jesus will return someday and take everyone who is saved with him to Heaven and the world that will be left behind will be a scary and cold world that makes me shudder even thinking about it...2010 was the worst year on record as far as natural disasters go and as unbelievable as it seems maybe the end is finally nearing and I think that now is the perfect time for people to start waking up and realize they need Jesus in their heart or they are going to hell simple as that...I know it seems harsh but it is! I don't want to see people I love or even just people I like not at least be informed of their options.

You cant get into heaven or be saved by doing good works, or living a "sin free" life as best you can, or going to church every Sunday....you have to be saved and ask Jesus to come into your heart....there is no other way...and I believe that with all my heart because it is what the Bible says.

It is a scary world that we are living in full of turmoil and heartache....having faith offers you comfort and peace of mind that God will always have a plan for you....he puts you through everything that you have been through thus far on purpose...to test you some might even say!

I also know that there are some of you out there that believe you have tried to have a relationship with God and you prayed for "things" or "material possessions" and when he didn't fulfill your prayer you turned your back because there must not be a god then.....HELLO! God is not supposed to be serving you and giving you things you want! We are supposed to serve him! Give him what he wants! God works in mysterious ways and if you didn't get what you asked for then maybe there is a reason for it. We live in an extremely superficial world where its not your heart or good nature that matters its the price tags on your clothes, home, or vehicle and its sad really sad.

"For God so loved the world he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." John 3:16-18

I cant even stress how important that piece of scripture is and I have been taught it my whole like and I would have to say its one of the things I am most thankful for.

"Once you ask Jesus into your life you can know that you have eternal life." John 10:28-29

I know that everything will be exactly the way it is supposed to I am so thankful I have my faith to hang onto in a world like this and I encourage anyone who is not happy with the way their life is going no matter what the problem (no matter how bad it is) to turn to the Bible...start by checking out a local community church! Most of them these days are extremely nonjudgmental "come as you are" type of place....

Well if anything I hope at least this blog will help maybe just touch one person or at least get them thinking...and if anyone has any questions email me, message me, talk to me! Anything! I am not the most knowledgeable person but I know enough and I love talking so its a Win-Win :)

People in my life that deserve a little recognition!

First off is my Mother! She raised my sister and I on her own because my dad left when I was in middle school and we heard from him like once a year and the real kicker is that everyone blames my sister and I for not having a relationship with him and they think that we ganged up on him and was mean to him and I have been told my mom brain washed us hahahahahahahahahaha its funny writing it (although it was not funny when it was being said but rather hurtful because I remember my dad looking me straight in the eye telling me that he fucking hated my guts and Im pretty sure my mom didnt brain wash me into hearing that come from the horses mouth) but now it truly is SO stupid lol like I said I was in middle school and I think my sister might have been in elementary school still! Anyways I have an ok relationship with my dad now...he texts me once in a while but if I want to talk to him I have to call him which is fine I suppose...its funny how children are always seeking the approval of their parents no matter how bad it gets...
anyways that must have been the hardest thing my mom has ever had to do she didnt have anyone to lean on...no family no one...I could never imagine raising 2 children on my own with no support especially during the teenage years. I was not easy on my mom when I was a teenager either...I lashed out and made bad choices...my mom and I are extremely close now and I thank god everyday that we have been able to get passed when I was a hormone crazed teenager! lol I have no idea what I would do without her and I just hope she knows how much I love her and thank her for making me the person I am today even if she did brain wash me the entire time I sure have a good life! lmao!

Second is my Husband. I can honestly say my husband had a huge hand in saving me from myself. I was on a path to nowhere until he re-entered my life for the second time and we immediately started to fall in love. He has given me everything I own today and he works so hard to support his family. I am lucky enough to be able to be a stay at home mom while also being able to live comfortably only thanks to him. He helps me with whatever cooking, cleaning, taking care of Kila, you name it he does it, he likes to play video games but is not overly obsessed with them, he takes me shopping and will spend hours at the mall with me without complaining, he always goes grocery shopping with me, he always comes straight home after work and he never goes out with the guys or to the bar or whatever it is a lot of men out there seem to think is there right to be able to do, and the list could go on and on seriously! He tells me all the time that he would rather be home with Kila and I more then anywhere else!
But even Mr. Perfect and I do butt heads and fight lol I think it is impossible not to fight with someone you live with or at least argue...we never go to bed mad though and thats a rule...marriage is not easy and I dont think it ever gets completely easy but I couldnt imagine being with anyone else for the rest of my life and Glenn is truly my soulmate. I love him and I dont know where I would be without him.

Next is My Sister Ashley Phillips. I think Ashley and I fight with each other more then I have ever fought with anyone in my life lol We are like night and day..we are opposites but the same at the same time if that can make sense to anyone but myself.....she is my sister and she has been by my side since forever and I truly believe that sisters have a bond unlike any other. She is cool, calm, and collected and I am corky, big mouthed, and impulsive...she can be the funnest person to be around or the bitchiest she is one of the smartest and sharpest people I know and also one of the dumbest lol she is amazing and beautiful and I am so lucky to have her as a sister...she has taught me a lot and still does. I know Kila will always have an amazing Auntie Ashley...I only want the best for my lil sis and she is a wonderful person inside and out and I feel so blessed to have a sister like her....even if she is the funniest, bitchiest, smartest, dumbest, sweetest, rudest person I have ever met lol I say this all with love Ashley and I do love you more then anything!

Abbey Williams! My BFF! My Whispering eye, my oatmeal, and my sister from another mister! I have never had a friend like Abbey and I think she is a once in a lifetime kind of friend! She has been there for me through thick and thin I know I can trust her with my life and she would do anything for me we have a million inside jokes and whenever I am with her she always makes me laugh because she is so funny....anyone who doesnt know her or has never had the chance to be her friend is truly missing out because she is one of the most loyal people I have ever met...I wish I could just make her move with me everywhere I go because I miss her like crazy everyday and I know that for as long as I live I will never have a better friend then her. Infact she is not just a friend she is family and I hold the little family I do have close to my heart :)

Ashley May and Amanda Stanfield! They almost seem like they come as a package deal because I rarely hang out with one without the other lol although I have known Ashley since middle school and she is an amazing friend and person! She is just truly a good person inside and out...she has an amazing voice and I have faith that she will be famous some day! I am lucky to be able to say she is another amazing friend that I can count as family same with Amanda too...I havent known Amanda as long but we have so much in common and she is such a great person it has been amazingly easy for me to become close to her! I am so lucky that I am able to live only like 45 min away from them which is not that far! It amazes me all the time that we all went to highschool together and now we are all here in WA! I love our monthly pedicures we do and the girl time I get when I am with them! I know for a fact that whenever I am with them I will have a great time because they are so much fun and so lovable to be around! I am so lucky to count them as family in my life and Kila is so lucky to have such wonderful Aunts!

Ashley Wolf...the only girlfriend I made in Texas and a pretty damn good one at that! We became friends at a busy time in her life right before she was getting married and I was lucky enough that I got to be with her for her wedding for almost every step of the way! Eventhough she was the biggest bridezilla I have ever met! lmao jk! She would get so freakin mad at me whenever I would call her that! hahaha I wish I could have been able to spend more time with her while we were in Texas...and it sucks that we were always so busy with whatever it was we were doing at the time but when we did get to hang out it was always some of the best times I have ever had! She is an amazing person! I wish I could be in Texas to meet my niece Haylee...hopefully we will be able to visit soon...I miss them like crazy! I know we will see eachother again though and I cant wait....she is the best thing that came from Station Freeport and she has made me not lose complete hope in all CG women/wives...I love and miss Ashley, Nate, and Haylee way too much and I have seriously contemplated wanting to move back to Texas just to be close to them again because I miss them so much!

What a Mother should or shouldnt do...

I was looking at this page on Facebook and what caught my eye was a post about vaccines and as I have blogged about before I do not agree with everything Dr.'s try to push on babies when they are so little. So I was interested in the site so I went to check it out and it was all about how c-sections are horrible for mom and baby, and how you shouldn't trust Dr's and modern medicine, crying it out is just heartless, and circumcising your baby is terrible (basically just really really liberal lol)...I'm not going to lie I was a little offended by everything on that site...even though I know it was probably not meant in an attacking way it was very attacking of people with opposite views. (which I know I have posted things that are definitely more then questionable about attacking peoples opinions but never ever about peoples children only about politics and someone attacking my political views is WAY different then attacking the decisions I make about my child)

Anyways the site had an article about how c-sections affect your life vs. natural labor and how c-sections "ruin" your life right down to your sex life...or so they seem to think that way....I really did feel like a failure for having a c-section it was one of the most devastating traumatizing things I have ever been thru in my life...it gave me nightmares and I could barely move for weeks because it was so painful and on top of it all I had this new little life that I had to concentrate on above all else...so yes it did make me feel like a failure and it did make life hard for awhile including strain on my marriage....but Kila was stuck because she was too big and the cord was wrapped around her foot several times (which they did not realize until after Kila was out) so to me if I didn't listen to the advice of my very experienced Dr. who was not by any means all about the slicing and dicing who knows what serious damage could have happened to Kila and having a healthy baby was all that truly mattered to me more then risking it....

Kila is now 7 months old and she is healthy and beautiful and doing everything a baby at her age should be and the c-section I had seems like a million years ago....my scar is barely visible because I had an amazing Dr. who did an amazing job. I don't believe that even if I would have had Kila naturally things would be any different right now.

These people who are making all these splashes don't have a PhD probably not even a college degree at that ( I'm not hating because I don't have a college degree either) I'm just saying how is it their place to tell everyone that what they are doing like vaccines, c-sections, and etc. is wrong? I have always had my opinions about myself and my own child but I would never go around posting things telling people to STOP what they are doing to their own child or what they have decided already because that is not my place at all.

I know way more people that do everything a Dr. says like all the vaccines and whatever else and their children are healthy and beautiful just like mine who hasn't had all the vaccines and I'm sure just like someone else's child who hasn't had any at all. Kila is just as healthy and beautiful as a baby who was born naturally. She has been right on the dot with motor skills and mental development and I couldn't be happier with the way she is progressing and growing everyday. So really are c-sections that big of a deal? All I cared about and all I ever will care about is having a healthy happy baby.

I believe that there are many reasons why there are hospital births, c-sections, vaccines, and etc. and I do believe that these things have saved many many lives vs. the more traditional methods and I will never regret my choices that I have made with my child about these things no matter what anyone might think. I think that each individual Mother will do something different with each of her children and ultimately Mother knows best. So I would like to see all these extremists (who go both ways) to can it and stick it where the sun don't shine because I believe everyone is doing the best they know how even if everyone does not agree. So everyone should STOP posting what you think a Mother should be and the choices she should make with her child because I can garuntee any Mother who loves their baby as much as I love mine will only do what she thinks is best and that might not be what you think is best. =)

To Believe or Not....

I choose not to believe in ghosts or paranormal activity because I believe that if you choose to open your mind up to stuff like that you are inviting it in so I try to close my mind to stuff like that as much as possible but I do enjoy Ghost stories and scary movies just as much as the next person and I even have one of my own stories as I'm sure lots of people do....I'm staying Switzerland on my story though so I'm not saying I believe or don't believe what I saw with my own two eyes but you can make your own conclusions...

This happened to Chantel and I when we were Juniors in High School and I had my old Bug Truck (89' Isuzu pick-up truck that said the Bug Stopper down the side and had bugs and mice painted on it! lol a lot of people know The Bug Truck!) We were going down the Farmington side of South Side River Road....for those of you who don't know where that is just picture a back hills old country windy road with nothing but houses on it....

It was pretty late at night and pitch black outside....we were fixing to pull up to the big 4 way stop on that road where you can either turn right to go to Crouch Mesa, left to Flora Vista, or straight into Aztec and they have these huge stop signs....well I was driving a long and out of the corner of my eye I thought I caught a glimpse of a person starting to cross the street....so I tapped on my breaks because it startled me but as soon as I thought I saw someone it was gone and all there was, was one of those huge stop signs so I figured my eyes were just playing a trick on me and I kept going

So just a few seconds later I was talking to Chantel and I said I could of swore that stop sign was a....and before I could finish my sentence she cut me off and said a person! And then we both described the same thing....

It could be just a coincidence but still creepy! lol I have always thought South Side is creepy anyways but this definitely made it worse! So I guess you can make your own conclusion if it was mere coincidence or not! lol

Let Me Have Yours so I can Give to Them

I am a compassionate person....although I am a little rough around the edges I do have compassion for people no matter who they are or what part of the world they live....but here's my story...

when Glenn picked me up from the airport from the quick trip I took to New Mexico there were some ladies sitting at a table where you pick up your luggage and they called us over to talk to us and I knew I should have just ignored them but Glenn and I walked over with Kila in her stroller and the woman asked us if we were in the military and Glenn said yes (still not sure what she was up to) and then she started to tell us all about the needy children and how God loves Kila and how those needy children needed us to donate our money for help and while yes I do feel very sorry for those needy children I told the woman that I had no cash to give so what do you think she says? She tells us there is an ATM across the way!

I'm thinking What?!? This lady can clearly see that Glenn and I are young and we have a baby and she asked us if we were military so that should tell her right there that we cant be taking money out at the ATM to donate to someone who should have bought the 75 cent condom if they couldn't afford to raise a child.

I am all about asking people to donate money and charity and I'm not saying that no one should help these children because it is not there fault that they were brought into a world where they couldn't be afforded but I think people should be a little smarter on who they ask for money! There were plenty of business men/women walking by us and she goes for the young couple with a baby! Gees.....

then I feel guilty for not giving any money because she is just sitting there staring at us trying to get my luggage waiting on us to go over to the ATM and pull out our hard earned money.....to me that's saying please go take the money you have to feed your child to feed these other ones because they need it more...then she kept saying how god loves Kila and she is blessed and etc. which makes me feel like she is trying to make me feel guilty because Glenn and I have provided everything Kila needs and she is a well fed, well dressed little princess!

Even though Glenn and I try to give Kila the world we still live on a budget...Washington is so expensive and the economy is scary....I'm sorry but I have to think about my own child before somebody elses children....people need to stick together and help each other but they have to take care of themselves first.....that lady should be going after movie stars and pro athletes instead of a young military couple with a baby.....